20 July 2011

One roundtrip ticket or two?

Deuteronomy 10:18 "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing."

I LOVE this verse. I love it! It may appear frequently because it is one that is near and dear to the heart. Our great country was founded on immigrants but nowadays it seems most Americans have a sense of entitlement that we "own" our great country, they look at foreigners as those who do not belong here. GOD LOVES THEM and so should WE!

I digress, I am sitting here three days before we move into our new home. I should be packing, but I am not. I am sitting here with an aching heart that longs for India. A beautiful country with beautiful people and I long to go back. I long to see the precious faces again and one day when the Lord appoints I will see our precious daughter.

I never understood when I sat with and prayed with friends going thru the adoption progress...how can you ache for something you don't have? How can you long for something that isn't yours? The truth is, SHE IS OURS! We don't know her, we haven't met her but she is ours, but most importantly her Heavenly Father knows who she is and loves her and can't wait for her to come home.

I digress again, when we were in In*ia last year the sweet friend who led the group I traveled with began to roughly plan another trip. I was hooked and I did not even know the date! Time has passed and a few weeks ago he emailed the team that went to In*ia stating that we would be going back in February! SEVEN MONTHS FROM NOW!!! My heart lept for joy but sank at the thought that my husband would not see the beautiful land that held our daughter and the people who captivated my heart.

We talked about him going and he said he would pray about it, while he prayed I selfishly just assumed I would go. Not sure why I assumed, I just did. Monday he told me he feels led to go. I have gone, I got the experience, I fell in love, I should be estatic! And I AM!! I rejoice in my husbands adventure that awaits him!

Today, he asked me if we could both go. New fears. Where will our children go? We don't have family to keep them. Our friends have their own children! We are blesed by a wonderful community but THREE children is a huge burden to lay on someone else while their parents are 9,000 miles away! So now, we pray. We seek our Heavenly fathers face and plan and ask Him to make the path clear to us if we are both to go or only my husband. Countless people have walked up to us and said "I saw the church is going back, we would love to help with the children." Each time leaves me a bit more speechless! Will we buy one roundtrip ticket or two Lord?

12 July 2011

Lost in tranlation - fear not!

Romans 8:15 "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Last night I laid in bed stricken with fear. We have been praying over the age we should adopt, meaning a baby or an older child, and at this point and time we feel the Lord is leading us to an older child. What does older mean? Well One of us thinks 2-4 and one of us thinks 5-6 which means that BOTH of us are asking God for clarity, direction and peace that can only come from the Lord.

While lying there the thoughts that flooded my head about adopting an older child were: How will I homeschool our oldest and middle daughter, all while trying to teach our new precious child English? How will I teach him/her English AND basic math, etc with a massive language barrier? How will he/she feel living in a strange world and not being able to communicate with his/her own mother, father, brother and sisters? Maybe a baby would be easier and better! You get the picture, it wasn't pretty.

I finally had to stop, tell the enemy to get behind me and cry out to God. If this is truly the journey He is calling us on, He will give us the strength to endure the lost in translation days! The enemy wants us to focus on our fears, he wants us to be afraid because when we are afraid we are not stepping out on faith, we are stepping out in flesh. Instead, we will cry out to our Heavenly Abba Father and seek HIM, seek HIS will and trust that His plan is better than our fleshly plan.

Satan hates adoption! First and foremost the Lord has adopted us as HIS children, so of course Satan hates adoption! He hates a child no longer being called "orphan." We know he will continue to attack and his battle will be fierce. However, the Lord is on our side and HE will be victorious! HE will enslave Satan and He will fight for our family because our child 9,000 miles away is LOVED and we are LOVED!

11 July 2011

Why Ind*a?

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19:21

When I (mom) was very young, I was at camp and I very clearly heard the Lord say that one day I would go to In*ia, Africa and Haiti...I didn't know it would take years to get the ball rolling!

Fast forward to about five years ago, a precious friend who worked for an adoption agency sent out an email asking for a family to please consider adopting this precious girl from Ind*a. As I looked into those darling eyes, my heart felt something I have never felt before, a huge longing and a huge gap. I forwarded the email on to my husband who said "find out more." At that time we just could.not.do.it. God closed doors and told us no. I never forgot her face or that feeling in my heart.

As we started the process to do domestic adoption, my heart still ached for a face across the seas. Hubby was adamant we would adopt from here, I smiled said ok but inside I cried and I cried out to the Lord. I asked the Lord to change my heart or to change his, because we were both quite set in our ways and I knew it would take an act of God to change either of us!

Fast forward again to summer of 2010 when our church announced a trip to Ind*a! I about came off the pew with excitement, hubby leaned over, looked me square in the eyes and said "your going, we will make it work, but you are going." I will save my trip for another post, but when I came back I printed out some pictures of some of the children I had worked with and framed them and put them on my desk with pictures of my biological children.

Little did I know that God would use those two pictures to move hubbies heart in a way I could never imagine. Like I said, I have prayed for years that God would change one of our hearts but I didn't know when or how! One night as we talked and prayed about stepping out and adopting again, he said "what if we adopt from Ind*a and from here because I know we have a child in India!?" I literally could not stop crying. He went on to tell me that waking up every day and seeing the pictures of those little children in my arms changed him in a way that HE never imagined.

So the journey began in June for our child 9,000 miles away. We pray over her/him every night and we ask that the Lord begin to prepare our hearts for her/him, and that He would begin to prepare her heart for us. We do not know if she has even been conceived yet, but the Lord does. We do not know what her given name is, but HE does. He knows exactly the time she will join our family. In our prayers we also pray for her family, we may never know their story but the Lord does, so we pray that one day they come to know the love of the Lord.

For heartbreaking statistics on Ind*a and why our heart breaks for the beautiful people of that country and nation click on the "Stats" tab at the top!

***Side note, the very next day after we had that wonderful "GO" conversation a sweet friend who works for an adoption agency sent me an email and told me the Lord had laid our family on her heart when she learned they would be adding India to their program list, yes, I wept with that awesome confirmation from the Lord!***